Because "nothing changes until something changes..." A place for encouragement in the struggle to break the cycle of codependency, rediscover your reality and break free from the chains of anxiety. "FEAR NOT, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
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Daily Affirmation
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What are you clinging to?
Maybe you cling to the comfort of an unhealthy relationship because of some false belief that you do not deserve better. Or you cling to over-committing at the office because you don’t fully enjoy your life outside your career. Or you cling to other people’s opinion or approval because you have not tuned into what you truly want. Or you cling to old habits because you fear the unknown of change.
We can explore what we are holding onto by probing within ourselves. Inquire by asking yourself questions: What am I clinging to, and why?
Understand the drawbacks of clinging. Clinging detaches us from our ability to live freely. It removes us from the flow of creativity and flexibility. When we box ourselves in with expectations of a plan, we distract ourselves from seeing a grander picture. When we cling to expectations of people, desires, and situations, we become shortsighted.
“Happiness is an ongoing practice. I’m learning to spend more time here, while reminding myself that happiness is a choice: I can choose to cling less to the past. I can choose to wander less to the future. I can choose to marvel more in the present.”
Source: tinybuddha.com
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My Values: Today at my internship I completed a Values Exercise. The aim was to rediscover your core values and get in touch with what drives you from the inside. Here were some of my top values.
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You are a human being, not a human doing.
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Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:
- An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
- A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
- A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
- A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
- An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
- An extreme need for approval and recognition
- A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
- A compelling need to control others
- Lack of trust in self and/or others Fear of being abandoned or alone
- Difficulty identifying feelings
- Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
- Problems with intimacy/boundaries
- Chronic anger Lying/dishonesty
- Poor communications
- Difficulty making decisions
Source: mentalhealthamerica.net
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Daily Affirmation.
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Shame vs. Guilt
Healthy guilt is a good thing. It helps us to regulate our behaviors by jolting us when we stray too far from being the decent, honest, responsibile person we aim to be… Our capacity to feel guilt preserves the dignity and integrity of the self and our relation to others.
Unlike guilt, the experience of shame is not tied to a specific behavior. Instead, it is linked to who we believe we are, deep down. We feel shame when we think we’re too ugly, stupid, fat, mentally ill, needy or incompetent to be worthy of receiving love or even walking around on the planet using up valuable oxygen. Shame feeds the conviction that another person couldn’t possibly love or respect us if he or she really knew the whole, pitiful, God-awful truth about us.
via The Dance of Fear: Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
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We should all learn to be a little more like Jessica! Count your blessings every day :)
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Anxiety is a mean trickster. It signals you to pay attention, but it also turns your brain to oatmeal, narrows and rigidifies your focus, and obscures the real issues from view. Anxiety tricks you out of the now as you obsessively replay and regret the past and worry about the future. it tricks you into losing sight of your competence and capacity for love, creativity and joy. It tricks you into believing that you are lesser and smaller than you really are.
– The Dance of Fear: Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. -
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